First and Last
by WindmillKiller
Summary: YAOI,SLASH,SeiferxZell,COMPLETE A simple mission that changed their lives. Seifer gathers his guts as he confesses his love. Will Zell say he feels the same? Is it happily ever after? Typical love story? Not at all.. Read to know more... R&R. Thanks!


**Author's note: **Death-fic… um… Seifer x Zell, don't like, don't read! Anyway, this takes place after the war. I just edited grammar errors! It's better now! Go review!!!

**Warnings: **Shounen-ai, YAOI, M/M relationships, angst, foul language, if you don't like those stuff, then don't read! FLAMES will be ignored or laughed at! Depends on my mood. ****

**Disclaimer: **I own them all…………………………………………………………NOT! Squaresoft or Square Enix owns them… As if you didn't know that. Except for the song at the end, those belong to Evanescence.

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**First and Last**

It was just like any regular day… or so I thought. Anyway, we were called to Cid's office as usual but only this time Squall was sharing that office with him. He resumed his position as commander. I figured it as one of those lame SeeD missions where any other SeeD could have done it but the clients would go all picky and everything so they would want the best of the best. 'Course I was included, Squall's too busy being commander, he doesn't have time for this kind of crap.

As I reached the office, I spotted the back of a chocobo-like head sitting near Squall's table. It was none other than my favorite chickenwuss! I, of course, would start the game of 'tease-the-chicken-till-his-eyes-screamed-murder', that was my favorite game after all, and I got to play it with my favorite person. I admit it; I like chickenwuss, perhaps even more than a friend. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking, _The Great Seifer Almasy, Sorceress' Lapdog is gay_, big surprise! It's no big deal really, I just remembered always being fond of him back at the orphanage. Sure, I would tease him to no end, but that's just how I show my affection. I'm not really into saying sweet words and all that crap Irvine does to get a person to sleep with him. Yes, I know, it's weird to make the one you love's life as miserable as hell, that's my charm! Besides, do you actually think I'll just walk up to him, confess my feelings, and then live happily ever after? Didn't think so. He may not even be gay! Woops, got carried away there, where was I… Oh yeah…

"Hey chickie, why are you here so early? Here to catch worms?"

"No need, the biggest worm just came in."

"Where?" I replied while pretending to look for the said worm, I stopped and laid my eyes on him.

"Oh wait, there it is." I said sarcastically.

He was about to say something when another bouncing ball of energy arrived with her boyfriend.

"Heya Squall!"

Selphie said with as much perkiness she can muster. She knew it annoyed him.

"Squall."

Irvine greeted him while he tipped his hat in an acknowledging manner.

"Where's Quistis?"

That's Squall for you, always straight to the point.

"She's coming, she's just giving instructions to the substitute for her class."

You got that right, Quistis had been reinstated as instructor as easily as I was accepted back in garden. If I had to say one nice thing about this place, is that they always cut you some slack and give you another chance. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Rinoa's with her old man back in Deling to spend some quality time with him. Squall suggested it. She's engaged to him by the way, not that I care.

"Sorry… substitute… instructions."

Quistis said in between breaths. She probably ran to get here, after all, Squall strives on punctuality.

"Just sit down."

When the ice prince saw that we were all settled down, he started on the mission objectives.

"There is a group of rebels in Dollet. They plan on setting bombs to create enough havoc to be able to distract the security and kidnap the mayor. Selphie, you're on intelligence, your job, to find out the whens, the wheres and the hows. The rest of you, are to split up and disarm the bombs. The car for Balamb leaves at 1900 hours while the transport for Dollet at 2000 hours. Any questions?"

I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off by Squall glaring at me before adding "About the mission."

Well there goes my question!

"Where do I get the info on the bombs?"

"Their base is near the Dollet Communications Tower. You will sneak in, get the info and pass it on to them using the communicator I will give to you before leaving for Balamb. That is all. You're dismissed."

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**( DOLLET )**

"Good luck guys! I'm off to their headquarters!"

"Good luck to you too Selph!"

I saw Selphie give Irvine a short kiss before she left. Sometimes, I envy them, I really do. They can show each other how they feel in public, with no worries! I can't even count how many sleepless night I've had with his face and sapphire eyes haunting my dreams. Not all of them are the type you soil your sheets, you pervert, there are some of them that freak me out to no end. Like this dream, where I confessed all my love for him then all of a sudden, I see all of them, the orphanage gang laughing at me. That dream was one of the things that traumatize me into not telling him.

"Let's split up and find more information. We meet back here after we disarm the bombs that we're assigned to. I'll go with Irvine. Zell, you go with Seifer. If there's an emergency, use the communicator."

"WHAT?!"

We yelled in unison, I still showed disgust, after all, I'm not planning on dropping my arrogant mask anytime soon.

"You expect me to work with him?! His idea of teamwork is staying out of his way! Are you on crack or something?!"

"You're not exactly cooperative yourself, chickie."

"That's enough. The outcome of the mission lies on our hands. I'll make this clear, DON"T SCREW UP."

She emphasized on every word not only that, her tone could've froze fire itself. I tell ya, if looks could kill, I would've been dead by now, 'coz of the glare she's giving.

"Quisty, take it easy! You know they're not gonna goof around on this mission."

"Let's just go Irvine."

"Chickie, guess that's our cue to get going too."

"Shut up. And start walking."

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"This is it. The place Selph was talking about. According to her the bomb's beneath those rocks."

"Get to work then!"

"Fine, shesh. You don't have to be so touchy! We still got a couple of minutes left."

"Whatever, just go work on that and I'll be the lookout."

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"There! I'm done!"

"About time! It's almost midnight already!"

Then that's when I head the gunshot that changed my life…for the worse.

"What the…..? Zell?!"

My reflexes just kicked in and I was able to shoot the bastard with my gunblade. The bastard who killed him. The only one who gave me hope in my wretched existence.

I leaned down to him and held his body closer unto mine. I tried to form a plan in my head to save him…but to no avail…

"Are you okay?! Of course you're not okay! Why the hell am I even asking?! Damn! I don't have any healing items with me! I'll go call the others!"

"Seifer… _(cough)_...stop…it's too..._(cough)_…late…"

"Don't say that! You can get over this! Don't you dare give up on me Zell! I can still go look for help!"

I only half believed what I said, since he was shot right in his heart…his heart that will never be mine. His blood was forming a crimson pool around us. I started to panic.

"Go…before…_(cough)_…they…find…_(cough)_…you…"

"No! I won't leave you! Not like this!"

"I'm dying…it's too late…_(cough)_…save yourself…warn the others..."

_-Whisper by Evanescence-_

_Don't turn away_

_Don't give in to the pain_

_Don't try to hide_

_Though they're screaming your name_

_Don't close your eyes_

_God knows what lies behind them_

_Don't turn out the light_

_Never sleep never die_

I hated to admit that he was right. I didn't have anything with me to revive him in case he died and the others were too far to reach us in time. Out of desperation, I did the very thing I've desired for so many years…I kissed him…a small peck on his now shivering soft lips.

"Zell….I….I…I've always loved you… For as long as I can remember…I…"

He cut me off before I started to lose myself…

"Seifer…………I................................" His voice slowly faded until I could hear no more...

_-Whisper by Evanescence-_

_I'm frightened by what I see_

_But somehow I know that there's much more to come_

_Immobilized by my fear_

_And soon to be blinded by tears_

_I can stop the pain if I will it all away_

And those were his last words before he bit the dust. I couldn't contain myself so I cried my heart out then and there.

Then as if the sky felt my grief, it started to rain. I looked up and saw the full moon shining on us. It was as if the heavens frowned upon our fate and expressed their deepest sorrows.

Then it hit me…I would never know how he felt…I was too late. His last words made no sense. It was incomplete…just like what I am without him. But at least...we shared our first...and last...kiss.

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**THE END**

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**Author's note:** I dedicate this to all those who reviewed my other SxZ fic! Whee! Phew! That took me 2 days to write! So forgive me if it sucks! You'll never know if Zell felt the same way! Mwahahaha! Yes, I am evil, and I love angst! I wanted to make another chappie in Zell's POV since I found a really appropriate song for it, but… I'm too lazy! And I don't wanna make any promises that I won't be able to keep! That's it for now! Guys... please review... I don't think it sucks **that** much? 


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